Congratulations! You are now a legally ordained minister for life, though you may relinquish your credentials at any time. YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS CLERGY. You have earned a title worthy of admiration and respect.
Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.
Your legal name and 5 minutes on http://www.themonastery.org/. (I actually had no idea when i signed up that they are based on Broadway in Seattle! Perfect!)
This is pretty brilliant, actually, because they are definitely going to get me to spend $20 to get a certificate.
Who wants to get married?